One could use love in use to describe immaturely the strong liking of something, especially in the case of young lovers, feeling their ‘in love’ after a few months. Love is dedication, to and from someone and something. A passionate desire that runs in the mind and what you believe in. Love for a person is something direct and generally (in some cases) both ways but when only one way mental torture plays its part.
The love for family and the love for a partner have a very much different feel especially if the love for family has been introduced through birth (parents or close family). The love for family is ‘protective’ and personal in a way that having to tell a family member you love them is required more sub consciously known.
The love for a partner for me is complicated in a way that I feel the need to split it down into three categories.
Falling in love,
Being in love,
Commitment.
Falling in love-
Person A and person B meet; there is sexual attraction and a desire to know more about personality and opinions. I feel the falling in love stage can be sped up through a catalyst, here is my theory.
If the scientific views are correct on the three stages of love (attraction, lust and attachment) linking to bodily chemicals to the brain then this theory could be a catalyst.
(p + s) x t = L
(p = passion, s = sex, t = time, L = love)
This constant release of chemicals in sexual intercourse creates further lust especially if person A and B are passionate the more chemicals the faster attachment should evolve.
Being in love-
An addiction to a person, physically and mentally, wanting their attention in some way or the other. A unique feeling to each person and to each love, especially to the first. A caring desire for a person in a protective manner whether aggressive or offensive. Love is a multiplication of the feeling of friendship whereas with friends you could argue and end a friendship, lovers if committed enough will sort through and repair the argument. The feeling of love can be for more than one person at a time (in some cases) and falling out of love can take months or even years. When person A and B are in love they can feel the need to block out everything else that happens around them and disconnect them from the world. This can be dangerous in some cases as if Person A loves person B more and Person B was to self indulge in acts that person A wasn't involved in person A (if still disconnected) automatically ignores this. This is called ‘Blind Love’. Being in love involves (generally) two people feeling desire and attraction to be together at the same time or even all the time. Being in love is trusting someone and committing if these two key areas aren’t fulfilled then love usually falls apart. Real love can block out opinions from others even if they are directed from family members or close friends. Falling in love is changing a person’s mind patterns until its overwhelming to their thoughts. Love is immeasurable but the feeling and what was felt is when lovers fall apart and the linked life is lost. I base my theory of love as a sexual act here but it doesn’t at all have to be sexual especially if commitment is involved. Even more personally love has become a drug to me, it is the want and desire to constantly find the relationship that has the desired effect on my mind and that keeps me and my partner happy. The fix for commitment and life with someone else.
The final stage of commitment also grown with attachment is how love survives.
‘Commitment’
Committing yourself to someone is an act of giving up any personal space you have for someone. Allowing that person into your personal matters and giving your life too them. Many people feel the need to marry someone to feel 100% committed I don’t feel this necessary for success. Marriage to me is just locking down a contract saying that you won’t give up on someone and that you will stay faithful. That is commitment but why do two people require a contract for this? Commitment is loyalty through sexual acts and allowing someone else to take a part of their life. Once committed the acts that they go through will take into consideration the acts the other person is going through. A passionate and protective dedication enters this e.g. dropping everything scheduled for the other person. To commit to someone they need to be trusted and trust has to be built like love. Without trust there is doubt and when there is doubt there are arguments. Being committed generally means that someone (in most cases both parties) is planning ahead or wanting to spend their future with the other party. If the will is strong enough and both parties show enough commitment any argument can be repaired and talked through as trust and faith are always involved. The act of love and commitment go hand in hand allowing both parties not to worry about anything an ‘outsider’ thinks.
Daniel Keeling 7th March 2010
